


Let's Bang (My Head Against the Wall)

by I_like_your_genetalia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Merlin hits his head but it's okay because Arthur kisses it better, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Officeworker!Arthur, Roommates, artist!Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 21:37:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5981725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_like_your_genetalia/pseuds/I_like_your_genetalia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur are in love with each other but it takes a fight and a trip to the ER to get them to admit it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written by my good friend knockknockilikecock, so go check out her blog!

The sky was a veil of white, window framing the world outside as if it were a painting. A few thick green pines could be made out before the world faded into mist. The dark trees shot up across the absence of the sky. Dew drops stuck to the thin needles like shattered diamonds, spilling down the cracks in the bark. The water cut through the tree trunk like rivers down a mountainside. There was an eerie beauty to the view, the desolation of the skyline dissected by the darkness of the trees. 

Merlin sat in front of the window, legs crossed and arms wrapped around his waist. His raven hair flopped over his piercing blue eyes, focused on the picture before him, without focusing on anything at all. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there. This happened sometimes. He would lose himself in his own head and forget about the world around him. He clutched his ribs through the thin white t-shirt, anchoring himself to reality. 

He pulled his eyes away from the window and moved to push himself up off the floor. His head spun and his vision blurred and he reached an arm out to the wall to hold himself up. When his head cleared he moved from his room to the kitchen, filling a glass of water. The small flat was relatively plain. The hardwood floors were paired with plain cream walls. The black leather lounge suite was situated around the glass coffee table. The only decorations in the flat were some of Merlin's paintings that his roommate, Arthur, had insisted on framing and hanging on the otherwise bare walls. 

Merlin shuffled from the kitchen into the living room, picking his sketchbook up off the coffee table as he sat down on the couch. He bent his legs so that his feet were resting on the metal frame of the table and leant the sketchbook against his thighs. He moved charcoal across the clean white paper, replicating the scene from outside his window. The hollowness of the sky resonated through his chest and spilled onto the paper, a beautiful, lonely mirror of himself and the world around him. The trees unfurled beneath his hands, branches reaching out to each other, but never meeting. Never touching. They were separate and alone. Merlin wanted to reach out, to touch, but he learnt from the trees. 

Although that wasn’t entirely true. They weren’t separate, and neither was he. Like the trees, he was contained in the same place, flitting around just out of reach. They were together, but they were alone. And Merlin could live with that. He could live with Arthur being just out of reach, as long as he was there. Which was why he didn’t try to close the final gap. He would rather have Arthur like this than not at all. They had been friends since they were seventeen and Merlin had been in love for almost as long. 

Because that’s what this was, love. He couldn’t deny that to himself anymore. This wasn’t just a passing fancy, this, what he felt every time he caught a sight of those blue eyes, was a permanent mark on his heart. He would never be able to erase it. He would never be able to do anything about it. It was like a knife through his chest. A constant piercing desire, Sometimes he hurt. Sometimes he was numb. But if he tried to remove it he would surely bleed out. 

He looked down at the page. He liked to think while drawing because his focus split between two tasks. He could channel his emotion into the art. The sketch was mostly completed, he could finish the rest later. He turned the page, returning to an unfinished piece he had started previously. Arthur. He couldn’t seem to finish this piece. He had to keep erasing it and doing it again. He had spent hours on this page, but every time he got close to completing it, he would realise that something wasn’t right. His eyes wouldn’t be piercing enough, his jaw wouldn’t be a strong enough line, his lips wouldn’t be tweaked up just right into that expression of mirth that he wore so often around Merlin. 

But Merlin knew that his drawing skills weren’t at fault. He was a well known artist, having coined the nickname ‘the sorcerer’ for his ability to work magic on any medium. The problem with this drawing wasn’t Merlin, it was Arthur. He couldn’t be contained in a piece of paper, revealing something new about him that just had to be captured every time Merlin thought he was getting close. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to get it right anymore, because that would mean that there was nothing new of Arthur to be revealed to him. 

Still, Merlin took comfort in forming the contours of his face, of carefully laying out each strand of his hair onto the page. It was so routine to him now that he didn’t even need to think of it. It just happened, flowed out of him as if it were his own soul. He didn’t even need to look at it all the time. In fact, if he just closed his eyes…

 

xoxoxoxo

Arthur was almost asleep by the time he returned home. Not that this was unusual, after working for eight hours or so at the office he was usually ready to crash. Then he had the hour long drive to his apartment, right on the other side of town. Sometimes he regretted living so far away from the office, right on the edge of an old pine forest, but then he would remember the way Merlin’s eyes had lit up when Arthur had first shown it to him. He could never regret coming to home to Merlin. Even if he could never say it. 

As he entered the house he could make out shape slumped on the couch. Merlin was always falling asleep whilst drawing. Sighing, he moved towards where Merlin had curled up on himself and was snoring softly, one hand still curled around his sketch book. Arthur moved to peel his fingers off the book and extract it from his grip, but froze when he got a good look at the paper. 

The drawing was unmistakably of himself. It was eerie seeing a perfect copy of himself staring at him with humourous grey eyes. The quirk of his lip made it seem like he was sharing a joke with himself. But it was the detail of it that really shocked him; the way that all the flecks of his eyes had been catalogued in such a way that it was hard to tell that they weren’t really his eyes, only distinguishable for the lack of colour; the way that each strand of his hair had been meticulously laid out into the windswept mess that it was now. It was the way that he had drawn the creases on his lips, and a dusting of stubble on his chin, as there usually was when he returned home.

He removed the sketchpad from Merlin’s grasp to get a better look. The drawing was flawless in it’s attention to detail, and Arthur flushed at the thought that Merlin must have spent a lot of time studying his face in order to draw this. Then it dawned on him how much time Merlin must have spent drawing this. He didn’t usually put this much detail into his sketches, not unless he intended to sell them, and Arthur doubted that was the case. Merlin had drawn some of his friends before; Will, Freya, Gwen, but he had never drawn any of them like this. This drawing had an element of intimacy, and Arthur caught himself smiling as hope started to bubble up in him at the idea. 

He frowned at himself, he was being stupid. Merlin probably just drew him in more detail because he knew him better, after all they’d been best friends for over a decade. Of course Merlin didn’t like him as anything more than a friend. He’d never suggested anything remotely close to the idea, and besides, why would he?

Merlin was too good for him. He knew that. Merlin knew that. Arthur would take what he could get until Merlin found someone better than him and moved on. He wasn’t going to ruin their friendship over a drawing. Still… maybe he could just mention it and see what it meant.  
He lay the sketch book down on the table, then turned to Merlin, sliding him round so that his feet were up on the couch and his head was tilted against the armrest. He tucked a pillow under his head and draped a blanket over his shoulders before moving to the kitchen and switching the jug on. He watched Merlin over the top of the counter with a fond smile as he prepared a cup of tea for himself. There would be no harm in asking about the picture. 

xoxoxoxo

Merlin opened his eyes in a slight panic as to where he was, before realising he’d fallen asleep on the couch again. He relaxed a bit at the solid weight of the blanket, signaling that Arthur had returned home. He blinked harshly, trying to prepare his eyes to open properly. The lights in the living room were off, but a fair bit of light was still streaming in through the windows. The faint orange tinge to the sky suggested it was about half past seven, but he couldn’t know for sure. He sat up, head spinning a bit at the sudden change. He could hear Arthur moving round the kitchen, probably making dinner. 

Then his eyes fell to the sketchbook on the coffee table, still open to the portrait of Arthur that he had been working on, and his panic returned. There was no way that Arthur hadn’t noticed it, and no doubt recognised the subject of the drawing. And oh god, he probably figured out his feelings from it. I mean really he was lucky to have kept him in the dark for this long. He was probably going to kick him out because technically the apartment was Arthur’s, and why would he want to live with someone he knew was in love with him if he didn’t return any of his feelings. Which he absolutely didn’t. 

He felt as if he had swallowed sand, his stomach weighted down and ground up, his throat dry. He should just lie about it, that’s it. Explain it away as practice or something. Try and convince Arthur it didn’t mean anything. Maybe Arthur wouldn’t even bring it up. This was a total disaster. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of a throat clearing, and turned his head round to focus on the sound. Arthur was standing at the entrance of the kitchen looking as heavenly as ever. His soft gold hair was flopped over his forehead and his mouth was twisted into Merlin’s favourite crooked smile. He must have changed after returning home as he was no longer in a suit, but instead a tight black t shirt and faded jeans. Merlin looked down at himself for a second, feeling inadequate in his sweats and oversized white t, with black smears that had come from his charcoal stained fingers. He was pale and uncertain and looked back at Arthur waiting for him to speak.

Arthur swallowed once before speaking, his only sign of nervousness, “I made pasta. I know you haven’t eaten, and don’t worry I didn’t try and make the sauce from scratch again.”  
He didn’t mention it. Merlin relaxed slightly, allowing a small smile, that slid off his face as Arthur started to speak again.

“Have you finished it?” he said, nodding towards the picture, “What’s it for?”  
Merlin swallowed, shaking his head, and mumbling, “It’s nothing. I can’t get it right.”  
Arthur frowned at this, and Merlin fought to drag his eyes away from his face, before returning to his usual mischievous grin. 

Raising an eyebrow he replied, “Am I your muse, Merlin? I must say I can’t blame you.”  
Merlin blushed at that, feeling stupid at the way he couldn’t stop his face for heating up and flaring red. 

“No!” he answered a little too indignantly, “You just have excellent bone structure and a really symmetrical face and… uhm” 

Merlin cut himself off, blushing harder as he realised what he’d just said. He glared at Arthur slightly as he noticed his grin widening. 

“Are you saying I’m hot?”

His eyes narrowed further. “No, I’m jus-”

Arthur’s lips twitched slightly at this, but quickly returned to his teasing grin. “You know if you wanted to draw me you could have just asked.”

The mocking note in Arthur’s voice made him feel ill. He stood up, ignoring the pounding in his head. “Arthur, please can you just let it go”

“You know I’ve been told I would make an excellent life model.”

Merlin turned and started to walk towards his room, blinking back tears and ignoring the dark spots clouding his vision. 

“Oh come on, Merlin, I was just having a bit of fun. To be hon-”

The rest of the sentence was lost to Merlin as his ears started ringing and the pounding in his head increased and his vision blacked out completely.

xoxoxoxo

When Merlin suggested that the reason he drew Arthur was because he thought Arthur was attractive, Arthur couldn’t hold back the slight frown that twisted at his face. He knew he shouldn’t have, but he had really hoped that Merlin drew him because he loved him back, at least a little. But then again, at least Merlin thought he was attractive. It wasn’t what he wanted, but it was a step in the right direction.

Maybe if he couldn’t have Merlin as a permanent fixture in his life, he could have him like that, even if it was just once. Maybe if he could get Merlin to go to bed with him just once, he could convince him to do it more than once. 

So he kept pushing, even as Merlin tried to shut down the conversation. And Arthur could see that it wasn’t working, but he couldn’t stop talking. God, why couldn’t he ever just control his mouth. 

“To be honest I would happily get naked for you in any context.”

The silence that greeted his sentence was gut wrenching, and he was about to apologise when he noticed that Merlin was swaying on his feet, before tipping over entirely, head cracking against the wooden door frame to his room as he slumped to a pile on the floor.

“Merlin!” he yelled, springing to his feet and racing towards where Merlin had fallen.

His heart was beating too loud and he couldn’t breathe. All he could focus on was the bright red liquid that was steadily seeping out of a gash in his head. He didn’t remember pressing his fingers against Merlin’s head, warm liquid pooling between his fingers. He didn’t remember calling an ambulance. He didn’t remember whispering a constant stream of please be okay and I’m sorry and I love you as he sat in the back of an ambulance, dazed by flashing lights and sirens and the beeping of machines. He didn’t remember throwing up in the hospital bathroom as Merlin was taken away, still unconscious. All he remembered was that it was all his fault.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur didn’t know what to do. The man who had treated Merlin, a Doctor Gaius, had said that Merlin had passed out because of dehydration. They were using a drip to get some fluids into him. The head wound was mostly superficial, but they would still keep Merlin in the hospital overnight so they could observe him and make sure he didn’t have a concussion. But he still hadn’t woken up, so despite all of Gaius’ reassurances, Arthur was freaking out.

He couldn’t get over the thought that it was all his fault. If he hadn’t kept pushing Merlin he wouldn’t have tried to flee the room, and then he wouldn’t have passed out and hit his head. Well, he might have still passed out, but it wouldn’t have ended with a trip to the hospital. Arthur had let his desire for Merlin take over the situation and look where he had ended up. Lying in a hospital bed, with wires hanging off his arms.

The walls and sheets were white, as were the curtains and window sills. The floors were white tiles, and the lack of colour was making Arthur dizzy. The smell of disinfectant was so strong that Arthur’s nose hurt, and the beeping of the heart monitor reverberated through his head. It was all wrong. Merlin should be at home in bed. He shouldn’t be here, skin almost as pale as the sheets, with a white bandage wrapped around his head. It wasn’t fair. He looked so hollow.

Arthur dragged his eyes from Merlin’s limp body and down to his hands. He couldn’t look at Merlin for too long without drowning in guilt. He pulled his phone out and called the first person he could think of; Gwen. She always knew just what to say. 

“Hello? Arthur?” the tinny voice trickled out of the small phone speaker.

“Hey, Gwen. It’s me.” he answered.

“Is everything alright, Arthur? It’s past midnight.”

“I’m sorry if I woke you up. Merlin collapsed and hit his head. We’re at the hospital.”

“Oh Arthur, honey, do you need us to come down?”

“No, no, it’s fine. They said he’d be alright, but he’s still unconscious, and God, Gwen, I just hate to see him like this. And it’s my fault, you know? I was teasing him and he was just trying to get away from me and I just ruined everything? Did you know he drew me? And not like he drew you, it was just, breathtaking, and I thought that maybe… but it was stupid and I was stupid and all I want is for him to open those stupid blue eyes so I can apologise and try and make things right because god I love him.” He let out a shaky breath as he finished his confession, tears sliding down his face silently as he waited for Gwen to reply. 

“Arthur, honey, you know I love you, but sometimes you are such an idiot.” she paused, her voice switching from concerned to her strict mothering voice, “First of all, this is not your fault. At all. So stop thinking that. Second of all, you need to pull your head out of your arse and just tell Merlin you love him. Everyone can see how perfect you are for each other. You need to stop telling yourself he’s too good for you because he’s not. If I didn’t have Lance, I’m sure I would be all over you myself.”

At that he gave a light chuckle, before allowing her to continue.

“Merlin loves you. Even if you don’t believe it, I do. Please just try, Arthur. By the sounds of it, he’s mad at you already, so if he doesn’t feel the same way it can’t get much worse. You just need to come clean, it’s not good for you to keep this a secret.”

Arthur sighed, “I guess you’re right”

He could practically hear her grin as she replied, “I always am. Now promise me that when he wakes up, you’ll tell him how you feel.”

“Alright, I promise.” he said, a smile pushing up his tear stained cheeks, “Thank you for this Gwen, I really needed it. Say hi to Lance from me.”

“Of course, honey, now stop worrying and try to get some sleep. I have to go, I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

He hummed noncommittally into the phone and answered, “Goodnight.” before welcoming the dull buzz of his phone as he hung up. 

xoxoxoxo

The first thing Merlin registered upon waking up was that he was not at home. His harshly sterile surroundings were all a blinding white, and the lack of softness or colour alarmed him, until he realised that he had not been kidnapped or arrested or taken to a mental asylum, and was in fact in a hospital. 

The second thing he registered was the pain in his head, apparently dulled by some kind of painkiller if the haze in his head was anything to go by.

The third thing he registered was a shock of blond hair at the end of his bed. A knot started to form in his throat as he took in Arthur’s sleeping form, propped up in a plastic chair, head and shoulders leaning onto the bed. He could see the lines of worry etched across his face, even as he slept peacefully.

He knows everything now, Merlin thought sadly, and it won’t be the same anymore, because he doesn’t love me.

His throat tightened again and he felt tears start to well up. There was no way that Arthur hadn’t figured out his feelings by now. He took a deep, steadying breath and tried to push the thoughts of what would have to happen next out of his head. He’d been wrong, he couldn’t just keep having Arthur as a friend, not if he knew that it was all it would ever be. It hurt too much to have him, but not, at the same time. He needed a clean break.

He looked up as Arthur groaned from where he was situated by Merlin’s feet, lifting his head and raising a hand to rub against his neck.

“Man that was not an ideal sleeping position.” he said, cracking his neck to the side and stretching his back out.

Merlin just hummed in agreement, not trusting himself to speak yet.

Blue eyes focused on Merlin’s, face slipping back into an expression of concern. “Are you okay? You hit your head. What do you remember?”

Merlin grimaced as he relived Arthur’s teasing the night before. “I’m fine. When do I get discharged?” He deliberately ignored the more significant of the two questions, hoping that Arthur wouldn’t notice. 

Arthur noticed, faltering before replying, “You’ve been cleared to leave whenever you’re ready, but you need to take it easy for a couple of days.”

Merlin just nodded, breaking eye contact and looking to the side, out the window. 

“Merlin,” Arthur’s voice was low and demanding and Merlin couldn’t help but turn his head back to him, “Merlin we need to talk.”

Merlin sighed. He was too tired for this. His head ached too much. There were too many drugs floating around in his veins. 

“We really don’t.” I already know you don’t love me.

“Merlin…” Arthur pleaded, his voice taking on a note that it rarely did with Merlin. Was that desperation?

Merlin looked back out the window before replying, not wanting Arthur to see how his composure was shattered just by the way he said his name.

“Please can we not do this now.” Please can you not do this ever. I don’t want to lose you.

After a minute he heard Arthur sigh, and his chair creak as he leaned back in it. 

“Fine. Are you ready to go home then?” Arthur said.

A little anxious knot that Merlin hadn’t even realised had formed around his chest started to unravel, allowing him to breathe a little easier. Until Arthur added, “Don’t think we won’t be having that talk later.”

xoxoxoxo

The car ride was silent. Merlin spent the entire time looking out the window as the houses became blurred streaks. Arthur knew he was avoiding him. His grip on the steering wheel tightened whenever they passed a street corner; another block without either of them speaking. Not that Arthur wasn’t willing to try, he just didn’t want Merlin to shut him down like he’d done in the hospital. Why was he making it so hard for Arthur to finally admit what he was feeling?

Maybe Merlin had heard what he’d said, right before he fell. Maybe he was disgusted at the way Arthur had offered himself up so shamelessly. Maybe he was just trying to spare Arthur the heartache of dealing with his rejection.

But the silence in itself was a rejection. The way Merlin waved off his offer for help when they arrived home was a rejection. The way that Merlin slunk off to his room, although only after Arthur had forced him to have a drink of water and some food, closing the door and blocking him out was a rejection. If he was going to reject him, he would rather he did it all at once, properly, instead of how he was doing it now, breaking Arthur apart piece by piece.

Arthur was sitting on the couch, elbows propped up on his knees. His fingers were interlocked and he had his forehead resting on them. He could hear Merlin moving around in his room. Drawers were being opened and closed, and stuff kept clattering and crashing and Arthur had no idea what was going on. All he could do was wait for Merlin to emerge.

He kept his head in his hands and his gaze on his feet as he considered what Gwen had told him. He had to at least try and tell Merlin how much he loved him. Even if it was received badly, he had to try. He had been holding this in for too many years. This secret of his was becoming harder and harder to hide. It was best to just get it out in the open now. Even if Merlin would never love him. 

Arthur was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed that the banging had stopped. He did, however, notice when the door of Merlin’s room opened. Merlin looked thinner and paler than he had earlier and Arthur stood up out of concern, before realising it was just the lighting that was making him look so gaunt. He took in the red tinge to Merlin’s eyes, the way that they looked slightly swollen. Then his eyes fixed on the blue travel case that Merlin dragged behind him into the living room. His eyes dragged back up Merlin’s form, catching on his adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed. He reached Merlin’s eyes just as they zeroed in on his own, something heavy hidden just beneath the surface. 

 

“Why do you have a bag?” he said, his confession lost in his confusion, buried beneath fear.  
Merlin swallowed, before opening his mouth and quietly answering, “I think maybe I should move out for a while.”

Arthur choked out a dry laugh, “I think maybe you shouldn’t.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, “Why do you always have to be such a prat?”

Arthur ignored him. “Why do you want to leave?”

Merlin sighed, blinking sharply to smother any tears that were threatening to surface again. “I can’t do this with you. It’s too hard.”

Arthur swallowed down something bitter, moving around the couch closer to Merlin, “Is this about what I said yesterday? I can… can’t we just forget it happened?” 

“No.” Merlin said with a sad smile, taking a small step away from him, “I don’t think we can.”  
Arthur sat back against the side of the couch. He’d started crying, although he wasn’t sure when.

“Merlin, please just stay. You don’t need to leave.”

Merlin sighed. “But I really, really do Arthur.”

“I’ll leave.” Arthur offered, “If you need some time without me, I can go.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Merlin said, voice wavering, “This is your house. I have to go.”

“But I don’t want you to.” Arthur said, voice cracking as he pleaded, “Merlin, it would be so empty without you please don’t go.”

Merlin frowned, “Don’t do this, Arthur. I can’t-”

“You can’t leave. I couldn’t bear to not find you asleep with your sketchpad in your hands or a sink full of coffee mugs because you drink that shit like it’s air or sitting spaced out staring at some wall lost in your own head because by god that brain of yours is marvellous or-”

“Arthur-” Merlin interjected. But Arthur didn’t stop, couldn’t stop, not until he’d said everything he needed to.

“Who’s going to curl up in front of doctor who with me if you leave? Or complain about my atrocious cooking? Or put up with my awful singing in the shower? God knows why you even do, it’s got to be a miracle that you’ve stuck with me this long, but that’s the problem isn’t it? You’ve just always been here for me and I don’t know how to function at all without you and-”

“Arthur-”

“And I don’t know if you can function without me either because we’ve never had to, you know? We work best together. We’ve always worked best together. At least, I’ve always worked best with you. And it’s stupid and irrational and I couldn’t help it even if I tried, and I have tried because I know nothing will ever come of it, because why would you ever love me the way that I love you and-”

“Arthur!” Merlin’s lips were tweaked up a little at the sides, the hint of a smile forming.

Arthur’s mouth snapped shut as he realised what he’d just said. Shit. 

“Shit.” He tried to school his expression back into something relatively normal, “I didn’t mean to say that.”

In an instant, any trace of a smile was wiped clear of Merlin’s face, and tears started to well up in his eyes again. He managed to release a small, “Oh.” before closing his mouth and looking down. 

At this, Arthur looked up. Was that disappointment that had been in his voice? But why would he be disappointed unless…

“Not because I didn’t mean it,” he blurted out before he could stop himself, “I just didn’t intend to say it like… that.”

The smile started to slide back up Merlin’s face, as he said again, “Oh?” This time there was a hopeful note to it. 

Arthur allowed himself a small smile as he straightened up and took a step towards Merlin. 

“Yeah.” he whispered, voice raspy from crying.

“Good.” Merlin said, stepping forward and pressing his lips to Arthur’s, a brief touch before pulling away with a grin. “I didn’t just draw you because you’ve got a nice face.”

Arthur grinned at this, “But you admit that I’ve got a nice face?”

Merlin laughed, lightly punching Arthur’s arm. “You really are an arse. But yes, an arse with a pretty face. And,” he pressed his lips against Arthur’s once more, “An arse with a pretty face who I am hopelessly in love with.”

This time when they kissed it was less chaste. It was awkward and hard and they both tasted of tears and ruin, but it was still the best kiss he had ever had because he was finally kissing the man he loved. Merlin’s mouth fell open, inviting in Arthur’s tongue, which gladly accepted and swept across his lower lip before dipping in and caressing his own. Merlin’s hands wrapped around Arthur’s shoulders, whilst Arthur’s made his way to his waist, stroking up and down, lifting his shirt slightly as they moved. 

The kiss grew deeper as Arthur walked Merlin back against a wall, before pinning him to it gently. His hands slid up his sides underneath his shirt, lightly brushing his warm skin. He pulled back for a second, relishing how disheveled Merlin looked. His hair was messed up and his lips were a swollen red and his lust blown eyes had this innocent confusion as to why Arthur had stopped.

“I love you.” Arthur said grinning. The freedom he felt in being able to confess this after so many years of it being a secret was exhilarating, “God, I really, really love you.”

He pressed one last kiss to Merlin’s lips, before sliding them down to his jaw and mouthing there gently, scraping his teeth softly across the stubble. He kissed his way down his neck until his mouth was resting just above his collar bone. He started to suck a purple mark into the pale flesh, taking delight in the small whimpers that were escaping Merlin’s mouth. His fingers that had been stroking up and down his side moved up until his thumb brushed over a nipple. Merlin bit off a moan as his head snapped back and collided with the wall behind him. He hissed, moving off the wall entirely and allowing a hand to fly up to the back of his head.   
Arthur pulled away, a shocked expression as he realised what had happened. 

“Merlin you have a head wound!” he said, as though he had only just realised.

“Yes,” Merlin replied sarcastically, “I had noticed that. Now can we please return to what we were doing?”

“You’re supposed to be taking it easy! You need to go to bed and rest.”

“Arthur,” he groaned, “I’ll be fine. Please can we go back to you pinning me against walls and doing sinful things to me?”

Arthur pulled his hands back to Merlin’s waist before leaning in and whispering, “Merlin, you are going to lie down in bed.” 

In one swift movement, he moved his hands down so that they were curled under Merlin’s thighs, before lifting him up so that his legs were wrapped around his waist and turning them around into Merlin’s bedroom. He tried to ignore Merlin’s half hard length brushing against his torso. Merlin’s fingers curled into his hair, bringing his head forward until their mouths slotted together. 

He broke off, making just enough room between them to say, “Fine. But you're coming with me.”

He could feel Arthur’s grin when their lips reconnected. Arthur carried him blindly into the bedroom, moving slowly so he didn’t bump into anything. Merlin didn’t need another head wound, after all. He lowered him down onto the king sized bed, before extracting himself from between Merlin’s legs. Merlin’s whimper at the absence of Arthur’s body pressed against his was silenced as Arthur climbed onto the bed after him, straddling his hips. 

They kissed hot and fast, their growing desire urging their movements. Arthur’s hands slid up from Merlin’s thighs, pausing at his waist to slide his hands under the thin white fabric, before he began mapping out Merlin’s chest with his finger tips. Merlin’s hands had moved down Arthur’s shoulders, enjoying the flexing of his muscles as he moved. His nails scraped lightly at his shoulder blades through his shirt as his hands ran down his back, before stopping to grip Arthur’s arse. Arthur groaned a little at the contact, grinding his hips down against Merlin’s. The pressure had them both pulling back to gasp for air, and Arthur paused to appreciate how wrecked Merlin looked underneath him. 

“Too many clothes.” Arthur gasped, yanking his t shirt off over his head, before moving his hands down to pull Merlin’s off too. Merlin’s torso lifted off the bed slightly to allow his shirt to slide off, bringing his body closer to Arthur. The distance between them still seemed too much.  
Merlin grinned as his torso flopped back onto the bed, instead lifting his hips to allow Arthur to yank his sweatpants and boxers down in one swift movement, hands brushing down the length of his legs as he went. 

Arthur flashed Merlin a grin as his flushed, red cock sprung up against the ivory skin of his stomach. He started to press a trail of kisses up the inside of Merlin’s thigh, pushing down gently on his hips to hold him in place. Just before he made it to Merlin’s dick, he shifted his mouth so that it was moving open mouthed over his hip bones. 

Merlin groaned at the sight, reaching down to move Arthur’s head to his neglected erection. Arthur moved a hand up to catch Merlin’s, interlocking their fingers. He lifted his head off Merlin’s hip.

“Patience, love.” he grinned, “I’ll get there.”

Merlin gave a resigned sigh, as Arthur bent down again and started licking a path up his torso. His tongue ran along veins like they were sidewalks and his mouth crashed across the expanse of muscles as if he were attempting to devour it all his intensity. His tongue flicked over a nipple and Merlin released a criminal moan, sending blood rushing down Arthur’s body. He entertained his mouth momentarily there, before turning his attention to the other nipple, licking and sucking it as Merlin squirmed in pleasure beneath him. 

He pulled off, moving back down to Merlin’s engorged cock, licking a slow stripe up the shaft. He teased at his balls with his tongue, sucking one into his mouth and rolling it around gently, before closing his lips over the other and repeating his actions. He released it from his mouth and grinned at how his attention had reduced Merlin to a whining mess beneath him. 

He licked one hand before using it to grasp Merlin’s length and begin pumping up and down, his other hand moving down to grind against his own erection, still trapped in his jeans. He licked at Merlin’s slit, taking delight in the moan that ran through Merlin’s body, before opening his lips around the head and sliding it into his mouth. He pushed his mouth down as far as he could go before his eyes began to water, then slid back to his tip. His hand stroked up and down at a constant speed, applying just enough pressure to drive Merlin wild. As he bobbed his head up and down, his tongue swirled around the underside of Merlin’s cock, and his cheeks sucked in, the pressure that accompanied the warm wetness driving Merlin closer and closer to the edge.

Looking up through his eyelashes Arthur could see him, head tipped back and eyes pinched shut, hands fisted in the white cotton sheets as he moaned in ecstasy and murmured incoherently. The sight in itself was enough to bring him close to his climax, and had him moaning around Merlin’s cocks. The vibrations had Merlin’s hips bucking up off the bed, pushing himself further into Arthur’s mouth.

“Arthur, please, I’m really close.” Merlin gasped.

Arthur just hummed, increasing his efforts. He slid up and down further and faster until Merlin seized, arching up off the bed, an absolutely delectable cry ripped from his throat as he released a load of hot, salty come down Arthur’s throat. 

Arthur pulled off Merlin’s cock with a wet pop. He sat up, unbuttoning his pants and pushing them down his thighs so that he could begin fisting his own leaking erection, spurred on by the image of Merlin’s orgasm that had now etched itself into his brain. 

Pumping his dick in time to Merlin’s wrecked panting, it took less than a minute to have him spurting sticky ropes of come all over Merlin’s torso. Merlin watched him with blown pupils as he lost himself in his climax, the current running through him flaring and igniting and burning him up with it’s intensity. He slumped bonelessly over Merlin as he came down, twining their fingers together once more as he buried his face into the bed beside Merlin’s shoulder.

“Good?” Merlin questioned breathlessly, voice raspy and throat dry.

“Perfect.” Arthur replied decisively, sounding equally as wrecked. He turned his head to nuzzle his nose against Merlin’s neck, pressing a soft kiss against the side of his throat.

They were damp with sweat and sticky with drying come and their bodies were twisted awkwardly around each other, but it was perfect because it was them and they were finally together. They knew they would have to move soon, but for the moment they couldn’t care. 

“Arthur?” Merlin breathed out the question. 

“Mmmm.” Arthur hummed, the vibrations tickling Merlin’s throat.

Merlin mouth flapped a couple of times as he struggled on finding the words, before accidentally saying, “I don’t think I’ll ever finish the drawing.”

Arthur seemed to understand though, because he rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around Merlin and pulling him with him so that Merlin’s head was pressed against his chest. 

“Good.” Arthur murmured, pressing a kiss onto the top of his head, “I love you too.”


End file.
